No Harem for me
by takami-nii
Summary: just a comedy story I've written after getting annoyed with the same harem anime stereotypes happening


Two friends walk together to school and having a chat "so *blah blah*" all of a sudden his friend stops suddenly "hm? What's wrong?" "3..2.. *ducks down* 1" all of a sudden the friend who wasn't ducking was suddenly crashed into by something in the sky the friend who ducked looks over at his friend. It turns out it is a girl that crashed into him wearing odd space clothing that show's she isn't from this planet. Looking with a blank face asks his friend"….hey you both alive?" "*groan* hm? Wha?" the friend on the ground wakes up to see the girl on top of him and his hand squeezing her breast, her slowly waking. "Ah! Wait wait!" everything that he's saying gets muffled. -_you probably think this guy in the ground is the main character huh? Another harem starring this guy? Well sorry to disappoint this is actually my story. The guy standing over them.-_

~*opening, song playing: Alice nine-mirror ball*~

_-My name is Hattori Ekei, Ekei is my first name to you English people who misunderstand and pronounced Ekee, seventeen years old and soon to be eighteen. I live with both my parents and my older sister, my older brother moved away. Have slicked back black hair with a ponytail and usually in class I wear glasses because I'm nearsighted, I get all good grades in school being an A student, also the captain of the kendo club. Blah blah blah enough, Doubt you want to hear a whole novel about a full bio about me. Anyway back to what I said about this is actually my story. Well I'm not the protagonist of a harem story. Truthfully, I'm actually the friend of that.- _

showing they're in school and a shot of the friend who got knocked down with his space girl . . . and other. . . harem friends. . .  
instantly pans to his other friends and their girls, one with a normal girl that have been childhood friends and another with a succubus devil girl . Now you're thinking 'wait, how are they in harems? Each only has one girl next to them. Well first take a look, each of them are in that typical spot of being right next to the window. Ekei in the front row of the classroom, in front of the teacher's desk.

_-And you'll about to fully see about….now- _

Tons of different other types of girls charge in and swoon over his friends. Girls from space, the future, other classrooms, demons and angels, etc. causing a big ruckus in the class room. Guy's in the school rush to their classroom to see the 'cute' girls and to give mean looks of jealousy to Ekei's friends.

_-*sigh* and this is every day, so now I'm use to it…hold on-_  
Smacking every jealous guy there, on the head with his kendo bamboo sword. "alright dumbasses get back to your rooms! Class is about to start!"  
_Sorry, so yeah and- *annoyed sigh* oh yeah these types_

enters the pervy friends talking about panties and such, also those girls who are in the stage of lesbian trying to pull away the female protagonists and those rich guys doing the same. Ekei gets a vein when they speak like idiots.

_heh, gotta go again_

He starts smacking them in the heads as well with bruised heads  
_Grr seriously these people in stories like this piss me off. Oh off topic, as you can see I'm not a guy who is interested in this. Sure I'd would like to find love one day but it seems all of that is being used on my friends here *covering his eyes away from the perverted things happening from the flirty girls*_  
_I guess you can say I'm a bit lonely because of living with my friends' harems. But I'm good at hiding it from them. _  
so he thinks. Ekei's friends have actually noticed his loneliness, mainly because of the aura's he gives out when he sees something like a kiss happens. So his friends and all the girls at their own harems each planned to get him a girl, trying to perform actions secretly like they're random acts of fate for Ekei, unknowingly the other harems are planning the same idea.

Just the other day group 1 harem had gotten a girl in their class that has a secret crush on him to be in one of the acts. One morning they had her have toast in the mouth and run, like she was late for class, around the corner. She bumps into him and falls to the floor, rubbing her bum. "oww" giving out a pose, sparkles in the air surround them as they both stared at each other. Then it all breaks when he shouts up to the sky at god "seriously?! This is so cliché!" she makes a shocked goofy face when he breaks the moment, same with his friends hiding and watching. "hurry up if you're late to class then why 're you still sitting here?!"

Group 1 plan: fail  
Ekei makes it to the school, after class he eats usually in the cafeteria but his friends convinced him to come eat on the school roof with them today.  
It turns out that the love he is waiting for is supposed to be something special. All his friends have gotten those out of the out of ordinary girls, so why doesn't he get a special girl? But then again he is afraid it might end up being his own harem.  
What's wrong with that? Well take a look.  
All the girls, from each harem, are fighting over his friends, in their own tugs of war or causing chaos along with different shenanigans with Ekei's friends suffering for it.

_See why? They might be idiots, but not me. _  
He finishes eating and leaves the love anarchy. Two of the harem parties have left to do whatever, cause more chaos I guess.  
But Some of the sweet or quiet emotionless girls from group 2 notice Ekei's leaving, one of them being a angel uses her power to have everyone stop fighting and explain what Idea they gained for Ekei, the angel girl comes up with a idea and flies into the clouds. She returns with a friend "This is cupid! I'm sure it'll help Hattori-kun find love" Cupid winks and poses while getting introduced, hearts floating everywhere. The girls from the harems tell her whats she needs to do. Ekei's friend on the other hand think maybe it's a bad Idea. Cupid replies to the doubter "Nonsense! I might be a new cupid and this is my first time, but I won't fail!" she says while pulling out a large paper fan with a heart sign. "with this I can have him fall in love! The person that gets hit by this, falls for the first opposite gender they see. "  
The plan was set, the 2nd harem group hide as they watch. Cupid dressed up as a cute pink angel ninja, Following Ekei to sneak attack him. She sees her chance when he stood next to a girl, eye twinkle, charges at him in flight. "HHHHHHHYYYYYYAAAAAHHHH!" he ducks down to tie his shoe and she misses, her fan hit's the girl that sees another boy and she fell instantly in love with that guy, Ekei leaves them alone. The little ninja searches around and finds him only missing more times and the fan making more accidental love smacks. Finally she finds him in a secluded area, at a fountain. "*~hehe! Finally no one else around now I can smack him and the next girl he sees, he'll fall for her!~*" his friend of group 2 ask what if that was a bad idea, since they wont know who that girl would be. "Well we'll just blind fold him and show him a girl that's acceptable!"  
She went back to her ninja suit and hid in the tree, the moment she sees him taking a seat on a bench she flies and charges "Now I have you!" Ekei though was prepared for any sneak attack, his glasses gleams, Both he and Cupid crosses swords ( well a bamboo sword and her Harisen). "eh?!" Cupid replies in surprise she pouts and they have their silly sword fight, Ekei using only one hand and yawns. They stop and she pants heavily from being tired of the sword fight. Then fights again, Ekei grew tired of the little game and without hitting her hand he gets the fan out of her grip and smack it high in the air. He aims his shinai at her "I know who you are and what you've been trying to do. But sorry, you're not going to force that on me!" He places his shinai on his shoulder, looking tough or whatever "Just leave me be from that." he walks off and cupid pouts on her Knees. the group 2 harem comes out of hiding and were about to comfort her on her failure but the plan of theirs back fires. The Heart fan came falling back down but this time hits cupid herself, her eyes were still fixed on Ekei and then grew to hearts, sparkles all around her with a red blushy face "Ekei-kun~3". his friend of group 2 goes "Uh oh."

Group 2 plan :Fail

*end credits, song: Utada hikaru-Goodbye Happiness"

By takami-nii


End file.
